The main point of this blog post is to help families have realistic expectations for blending two families. Some research suggests that step-parents should expect the age of their children to double before they feel completely comfortable with the new step-family situation. This would mean that a parent who re-marries when their child is two, will likely see their child bond with the new parent by the age of four. This number is not as concerning as a child who is ten at the time of remarriage. This child can be as old as twenty before they see their step-parent as a parental figure. Surely some parents will see the role of the step parent progressing with the child much faster, but this data certainly does help new step parents slow down their expectations. It may be unrealistic to expect a child to bond with a step-parent overnight. The best thing a parent can do is to let nature take its course and know that a relationship will grow with time.
Separation, divorce, and remarriage can be difficult on a child of any age. If you are entering the divorce process, click here to read more about a Beaverton Oregon divorce lawyer who will advocate for your family.