When someone decides they want a divorce, they will often want to talk about it with the people closest to them- friends, family etc. The role of the confidante can be a difficult one. Some people are quick to give advice or support, and sometimes that can be a mistake.
Here are some things NOT to do when a loved one chooses to confide in you about getting a divorce:
- It is a bad idea to tell them that they should stay in their marriage no matter what. You will never understand their marriage in the way they do, so advising them to stay no matter what could be harmful.
- Telling someone to get revenge of any kind on the person they are divorcing is a poor choice. A divorce is emotional enough on its own, there is no reason to incite more drama or stress into the situation than is already there.
- People getting divorced have even stressed the negativity they feel when confidantes offer cliché comfort like “everything heals with time.” They say this can lead them to feel like their healing has to happen on some sort of prepared time table.
In our next blog post, we will discuss positive things you can say to people choosing to confide in you about their divorce. Look for that and information on other family law topics on our blog posts page.