In the last blog we discussed some basic recommendations for helping children get through a divorce. In this post we would like to explain more ideas to ease the transition for your offspring.
Custody, visitation and child support decisions should all be made with the child’s best interests in mind.
A good Portland, Oregon divorce attorney can help keep the children from becoming a pawn. Having an attorney who can help parents negotiate the arrangements rather than extensive litigation is always advantageous for teenagers as well as younger children.
An experienced divorce attorney can help parents develop a viable plan without extensive parental conflict.
Family law attorneys know that prolonged bitterness between parents about custody, visitation or child support can be very distressful for children. Regardless of what the relationship is between you and your spouse, decisions should be made with the children in mind and not out of revenge. A child should not be deprived of a parent even though there may be hostility between parents.
Give consideration to the following:
- Joint custody is often best for the child.
- Unless the non-custodial parent is abusive to the child or endangers the child, then he or she should be encouraged to visit with the child regularly.
- Talk in-depth with your family law attorney about finances. Despite state guidelines about child support and division of property, there may be some unresolved issues about finances. Property and money are often emotionally loaded issues. Make sure the decisions you make are practical, informed choices.
- Avoid playing the “money blame game.” If children complain about something you can no longer afford, it is always tempting to blame the other parent. Even though your ex-spouse may deserve the blame, don’t blame them. Putting children in the middle of money matters does not lessen their disappointment. It only makes them feel more hurt, angry or confused.
Recognize When You or Your Children Need Help
Family attorneys often see situations where divorce is the best solution. Just because the divorce is necessary doesn’t mean divorce is not difficult. Be aware of your children’s behavior and how it changes through the process.
Give yourself time to heal. Give your children time to heal.
Call 503-226-7986 to learn more about Ronald Johnston’s practice and the resources he has to offer you during this difficult time. Or click here for resources available online.