For Men: What to Say to your kids

February 23rd, 2015

Divorce is a very difficult time for the entire family, especially for young children. Pre-school aged children do not understand what divorce is or what it means for the family. They do not know why their schedule is being changed or who to blame. Sadly, children sometimes end up blaming themselves. Security is very important during this time to ensure that your child feels as safe as possible.   There are a few things you can say to your children to ease the blow and help them feel loved.

  1. It is important to keep informing your child that they are not to blame. It is not their fault and nothing they could have done could have caused this. Young children are very good at assigning guilt to themselves for divorce so reiterating that it is not their fault is an important part of the process.
  2. It is also very imperative that they know that just because their parents are no longer living together, the other parent is not leaving the child. One fear is that because daddy moves out, mommy may leave too. This adds a lack of security to the child’s daily life.   It is also important that the child knows that daddy isn’t leaving them, just that now they will have two homes. Creating a space for them in your new home immediately is a great way to add security.
  3. Make sure they know that both parents still love them just the same. Nothing has changed beyond the divorce.
  4. It is also vital that the child know that you will still be spending time with them. They should know right off the bat how much, and you should attempt to stick to that at all costs. Breaking a cycle can cause them to lose trust, which can throw everything else off.

A dads participation in raising a child is just as important as a mothers, so having an advocate that can help you achieve the custody agreement you want is very important.

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