How to Approach Remarriage

February 27th, 2015

Following a divorce you may find yourself in a new relationship. This can be an extremely happy time for someone who has possibly not been happy for many years. It can also be awkward for children, your Ex Spouse, and other family members. Whether or not your children like the person you are planning to marry, breaking the news and acceptance may not be as easy of a process as you would like it to be. Of course they want you to be happy, but adding a permanent member to the family may create feelings of uncertainty and resistance to change.

An entering stepparent can do certain things to ease the blow of a new marriage. All children are in different stages of development and these stages may need to be taken into consideration when breaking the news.

The blow can be eased a bit by “planting the seed” of remarriage over time so the child has the opportunity to accept it before it happens. Informing your child of how you are feeling in a relationship can help, such as by mentioning marriage or by including the person in daily activities such as school functions. Inviting the person over for casual meals can help to, if they are present in family affairs, then the vision of adding them permanently will not seem like such a big change. It also may be important to get your child’s permission when including the person you intend to marry in these events first. If they feel like they are a part of the decision process, they are more likely to accept it.

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