The last blog post covered the importance of staying in contact with your child as they move back and forth between homes. This post will attempt to explain some of the necessary aspects to making this communication beneficial and successful.
The first thing to consider is how to handle a forgotten call. It might be easy to blame the child or your ex if your child does not contact you when they are supposed to, but this can make matters worse. The most important part of this contact is that it is positive and open. Consider explaining how important these calls are, but remember to leave room for error. If your child forgets to call you in the morning, ask them to do so in the evening instead. It also might be important to hold back resentment towards your ex if the call does not happen. This may lead to more conflict and less cooperation.
The next important part of this contact is to realize that your child is allowed some amount of privacy during their time with your co-parent. There is a difference between knowing what your child is up to, and needing to know every single detail. This can come off as micromanagement, and lead to distrust.
Your child will likely offer up what they want to share, and some gentle prodding for more details is ok, but it may be best to try to not turn communication into an interrogation.
The next blog will discuss fitting communication into your and your child’s schedule.
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