We like to think that our relationships will last a lifetime, but the reality is that when people get married, approximately half of them will divorce. Some say that a divorce can create as much grief as a death, and both of these events are related to our attachment to permanence and a resistance to change. It seems that if we can simply master the skill of acceptance, it might be one of our most valuable life skills. The resistance to accepting change can lead to grief, depression, guilt, shame, anger, and anxiety. In some cases, denying these feelings can lead to more pain and more denial. When we spend so much time resisting change, we may run the risk of missing so many of the blessings we do have.
When young children resist change, they frequently go into a meltdown or have temper tantrums as a way to express “I’m not getting my way!” As adults, we get angry about the changes we do not want to happen, such as losing a job, a marriage, or even our health. Although most adults do not have temper tantrums, we all become frustrated and some become seriously depressed, especially when they cannot accept the many changes life brings. That being said, this does not mean that you should expect the good in your life to go away. There is nothing wrong with believing in love and holding on to your dreams, but instead maybe try to teach yourself how to adapt.
It might seem easier to simply deem change as bad, and this may help you in the short term. If you are dealing with divorce and trying to navigate this new change, click here to read about Attorney Ronald Allen Johnston.